Cork Police Office
Judy Sullivans, antient dame, indicted for assaulting Miss Juliet Donnelly, tearing her bonnet and dishevelling her auburn dresses. Juliet’s lawyer requested she stand at the end of the table and remove her gloves.
Judy (casting a scornful glance at her)- Cock you up with gloves, you circumwenter – little your granny thought that one of her breed would leather her skin.
Juliet- Oh! Gentlemen, I’ll surely faint if you her at me.
Mr O’Brien asked the prosecutrix to be sworn.
Juliet: On Tues eve, your honours, I was walking though Shandon church yard when Mrs Sullivan came up, and without saying ‘by your leave’ or any other decent apology, pulled my new Dunstable bonnet off, tore the hair out of my heard and violated me most shockingly.
Judy (shaking her clenched fist at the prosecutrix): Tell the gentlemen, you frisky diskey, how you sawduced my child.
Juliet- Oh! horrible incinyuation! me to seduce a man (a laugh)
Judy- Och! mouvrone; ’tis you wouldn’t turn your back to it. On the varty o my oot, your reverences, she swaduced him, for they always used to be always speechaticating like play-actors.
Juliet (curtseying) :’Tis all foul and malicious, your honours.
Judy: didn’t I often warn you not to becoming round him?
Juliet: Take care of my character ma’am.
Judy- Wisha you haven’t much o’ that same to take care of. Sure you’re well known to be swaducer of youth and distroyer of ould age (great laughter).
Juliet: I’ll bring the law against you for my karacter.
Judy: Yeera, faith my dear, twasn’t I stole it, for you’re trepanning all the gorsoons in the parish you rattrap. (shouts of laughter).
Mr O’Brien: If that’s the fact, it’s a mantrap she should be called. (Laughter).
Judy to Mr O’Brien: You’re better take care and not get into her trap, (immoderate laughter).
Judy to the prosecutrix: Tell the gentlemen what you and he wer doing behind the tombstone?
Mr O’Brien: They were performing the parts of Romeo and Juliet at the tomb of the Capulets.
Judy to the prosecutrix: On the varty of your oat, weren’t you questering?
Juliet: No indeed, your honours, I was only humming to myself, ‘fly not yet, tis just the hour’.
Mr O’Brien: And you beat time on her head?
Judy: You may swear to that. Now your Reverences, I’ll tell you the whole of it.
Juliet: Tis, all lies she’s going to tell your honours.
Judy (making towards the prosecutrix in a fighting attitude): Pursuing to you, you vermint, why would you give the mother of childer the lie.
Mr O’Brien called out the police to protect his client from the enraged Judy, when one of them stood between her and the prosecutrix.
Judy: well, your reverence, I’ll be as cool as a pickled cabbage. You see how it is this lady with her bonnet and boots is always running away with the honest women’s children, and amongst the rest, she puts her Judas’s eyes upon my poor straelogue of a Bill, and whipping him off clear and clane. Oh! the de’il a good I could get o’ him since she stuffed his head with what she calls tragedy! Well ses I to myself, I’ll watcht his doxy, so well becomes me, when he went out last Tues night, I makes after him and who should he meet but Miss Donnelly. Well up with her to him in a jiffey and what does she do but clap her hand under his arm, as if her was her own, and bises him up to the church yard. Well your aces as I how I follow them always and there she was deludin him and twas with a great deal ado I keeps my hands from her; but I had the patience of fifty women. Well they planke themselfs down behind a tombstone, while I was shaking and shivering with the fright, as myself was afred o’ the good people in such a place; but no matter about that; bise-by they begins to querister, and she soon begins with all the fine talk in the world; but when I heard her asking him did he love her, fegs I couldn’t hould my breath any longer and I get my hand over the tomb-stone and pulls the bonnet off her.
Juliet (Interrupting): Me to ask him did he love me! No, indeed, your honours, I was only reciting Shakespeare, What I said was: ‘O gentle Romeo! If thou dost love me, pronounce it faithfully.’ (a laugh)
Judy: There now for you, did you ever hear more for that? See, she can’t deny it. Romy is a pet name she calls Bill, your honours.
Mr O’Brien: Don’t mind the name, for ‘a rose by any other name would smell as sweet’, but you acknowledge having beaten her.
Judy: Oh then I do; I gave her tow or three wherets o’ my fist and both ran away before I could catch em and the next morning my poor child listed with the Queen and went off to Spain. [Here Judy melted into tears].
Mr O’Brien: How old was the child?
Judy: nineteen, sir.
Mr O’Brien: a pretty nursling indeed.
Juliet (pouting): I declare gentleman twas she was the cause of his going away.
The bench now stopped this case, telling the forsaken Juliet that she had acted wrong in the first instance by keeping up an acquaintance with the youth, when his mother forbid; but at the same time, it was no justification of the assault, and they would therefore fine Judy in the amount of the costs. Judy immediately paid the money and the parties left the office.
Taken from the Connaught Journal, 17 December 1835.
Katie Barclay is attending a conference where she explores the use of popular literatures in court testimonies. She thinks this is a great example encompassing William Shakespeare, Thomas Moore, folklore and the bible.
